Happy Birthday to Me

$165 of over indulgence in the form of a scarf edged with pom poms. It reminds me of my hair ties when I was little and those little fluff balls on the back of tennis socks.

Adios Petunia Pickle Bottom, I'm reclaiming my purse rights. Albeit and HUGE tobo (that's right, it's not a hobo it's not a tote... this reminds me of something else but I digress), but it's washable and it's all mine.

Single File, Please

I live in one of the top 3 cities for triathalons in the nation (I didn't say I DID triathalons, I said I lived here, people). This means we cannot go anywhere without encountering cyclists on the roads, don't me wrong - I love those tight spandex shorts and aerodynamic helmets, my better half has no less than five bikes and two 'bibs'. However, there is no shortage of amateur, self righteous cycling road hogs who don't think twice about giving you the finger when you have drive past them and they're riding three to a lane. So, I've devised a plan. The next time I'm riding in the backseat and I see one of you overeager weekend warriors, you're getting a little slap on the ass out the window. Roar.

Snap a Strap

Just put the hot pink miracle bra back on. At least it adds a pop of contrasting color. These are not Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak - we can all see them, you're not fooling anyone, we know you have a bra on, it's not strapless and it's TACKY! It's all I can do to keep myself from snapping one when I see them.

I Need These

But all the other short people bought them before I found them. Only the tall girls have a chance left - sizes 8 and up... if anyone finds them in a 7 let me know.

Unexpected Read

I read her two previous novels, which were mostly satirical and feminist, the second one being more of a memoir, collection of stories from her past. I had a really hard time finding this book at our local stores and wondered if that was a bad sign. While completely different from her first novels, this is an amazing story of travel, suspense and humanity. I LOVED it. It's best to jump in having no clue what to expect - so I'll leave it at that.

Need Reassurance that it's Completely Normal to Engage in a Powerstruggle with Your Toddler? Read This

Just finished. Giggle-worthy novella about a woman, her toddler and supportive work-at-home Mr.Mom as they wait for #2 to arrive. We're nearing the 'trying' phase for our #2, I went from being more terrified of getting pregnant than I was in high school to ooohing and aahhhing at every baby under 3 months we see. Damn hormones.

I'm starting a list of things I want to do before the next child begins to devour every brain cell I still have left, here's what I have so far (suggestions welcome):

1) Organize Master Closet
2) Organize Garage
3) Drink as many Margaritas, White Whines and other mixed drinks not involving rum as socially acceptable before the abolition
4) Plan two vacations before the magic number multiplies (one up Oregon coast and other to Park City)
5) Get new carpeting (got an estimate - $12K?!)
6) Choose materials for backyard re design (I HATE driving to the block and brick place) and actually choose a contractor who won't rip me off (two estimates so far, one for $90K, one for $36K... same project)

I'm Pretty Sure I Saw This Happen on COPS Once...

If you have a car that has a sensor and supposedly will *not* lock itself if the keys are within a foot of the door, it's bullsh*t (confirmed by fire dept.). I locked the baby in the car a few days ago, and with her - my phone, spare house key and any sanity and sense of control I started out with that morning.

One 911 call later, a fire truck was pulling down our long driveway (thank god my neighbors weren't home) and miraculously unlocking the door. I was two seconds from throwing a rock through the window when they showed up.

When the door opened, I realized I'd had the foresight to start a Barney DVD and the baby just looked up at me like, "Oh, hi. Who are those hot guys in uniform with you?"

I baked them some cookies and took them over to the station that night. Encinitas FD, I owe you one - they didn't even mention how hysterical I was, not even once, instead assuring me that this happens at least three times a week.

I'll be one happy mommy if this is the only 911 call I ever make.